Caption Contest...

[farrokh747]

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-38809355?ocid=socialflow_twitter

[martin]

"Turkey-based business man scared to death by fellow PAX".

As he should be.

[Britjet]

How do you turn the IFE on?

[asboyd]

"I hope they have changed the oxygen masks.... I don't think the normal ones fit my beak

[ScudRunner]

I've seen this image in an ATPL exam paper.....

"True or False:- If the falcons should take-off, what will happen to the aircraft ZFW?"

[Hardy Heinlin]

The ZFW will be reduced, but not by 100% of the bird's weight as long as the bird is flapping its wings. The flapping will lift the bird but will also generate a counterforce against the aircraft floor. When the bird is gliding the counterforce is even more reduced, but there is still energy involved to keep the bird inflight as the bird is not a zero-weight-gas-balloon. If the bird was a balloon with a weight of zero, the ZFW would be reduced by 100% of the bird's weight; but then the bird's weight would be zero anyway. If the balloon had a weight of minus 5 kg, it would push against the aircraft roof and reduce the ZFW even more.

It could be that the remaining weight (air pressure against the aircraft floor) of the flapping bird will be compensated by the additional lift the bird provides to the entire flying vehicle. The energy comes from the bird; it adds to the energy stored in the fuel tanks.

[Britjet]

My thoughts exactly ;-)
And if it eats a rat from the first-class galley, and then takes off...
New ZFW = Old ZFW - rat?

[Hardy Heinlin]

This is really tricky ...

Take an empty 747 freighter at the gate and let a big condor into the cabin. Watch the weight sensor system of the 747 (imagine super fine weight sensors). When the condor is gliding through the cabin, a vacuum occurs on the upper side of its wings (laminar profile), pushing the air mass above its wings down to the area below its wings. This downward air mass motion pushes the aircraft floor down, and the vacuum above pulls the roof down, but at the same time makes it lighter by the weight of the condor. It could be that the sum will make no difference to the ZFW.

Now take a chain saw and remove the roof of the freighter. Subtract the weight of the roof from the ZFW. The condor is gliding along the same track again. A vacuum occurs on the upper side of its wings, but this time the air mass above its wings need not stay within the cabin as the cabin is now open. I think, aside from the removed roof, the ZFW is now really reduced by the gliding condor due to the open interaction with the external air mass.

Take water instead of air, and take a toy submarine instead of a condor. The toy submarine is heavier than water. Put it into an aquarium. When the submarine's propellor drives the submarine off the ground, will the aquarium be lighter? No, the propellor pushes the toy up and the water down; the sum of the forces is the same -- as long as it is a closed system.


|-|

[Will]

Here in America we have this: http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2016/01/14/turkey-ruffles-feathers-about-emotional-support-animals-on-flights.html

[Britjet]

I realise now that I know nothing at all about flying...😕
Peter.

[Phil Bunch]

Here in America we have this: http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2016/01/14/turkey-ruffles-feathers-about-emotional-support-animals-on-flights.html

Background information:  My wife has truly remarkable abilities to communicate with animals.  You have to see it to believe it - it's almost as if she has some sort of "aura" that attracts and charms animals, including wild animals.  They quickly establish some sort of relationship after initial visual contact is made.  I've repeatedly seen wild ducks and other wild animals suddenly act as if they were her longstanding household pets.  The most amazing example, IMO, is provided by ***bumblebees***!  Within a few minutes after she gets comfortable in a reclining chair on our deck (located near a garden of flowering plants), wild bumblebees that were initially attracted to her flowering deck plants will land on her arms or legs, walk around for a few minutes, and then peacefully take a nap for 15-30 minutes.  This bumblebee napping activity routinely occurs each summer and is actually beautiful to behold.  I can only hypothesize that some people really do have exceptional abilities to communicate and relate to animals, but I also believe it cannot be taught at a high level of skill.  This type of skill has also been documented in movies and books such as "The Horse Whisperer".

https://www.amazon.com/Horse-Whisperer-Nicholas-Evans/dp/0345528603/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Back to the original topic of turkeys as therapy animals and airline passengers - my wife tells me that turkeys are actually sensitive, emotionally responsive creatures that make good friends and pets if you know how to interact with them.  They seem *impossible* to interact with to me, based on their appearance and their erratic and apparently lunatic behavior! 

In conclusion:  My personal opinion about bringing turkeys on board an airliner includes the concern that their normal biological waste material is exceptionally repugnant and impossible for most of us to tolerate in closed quarters.  I personally have no idea how most people could tolerate being in an airliner with them for a flight of any duration.  AFAIK, turkeys cannot be trained to use litter boxes or to exclusively use the outdoors (like dogs).  Their waste would be all be impossible to clean without special soaps and equipment, IMO.  YMMV.

(I hope others realize that this post is mostly for humor, but the animal aura descriptions are quite real!)

[farrokh747]

My personal opinion about bringing turkeys on board an airliner

Unfortunately for many turkeys, they do indeed end up on several airliners, but in the galley.....

Missing Shiv here.....

[Will]

I know quite a bit about this, as it overlaps with some of my professional responsibilities.

The United States formally recognizes two types of animals who assist people.

The first is "Service Animals," recognized under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and granted wide privileges by the law. The requirements are that the owner has a disability, and that the animal is trained to assist the owner in managing the disability. The archetypal ADA Service Animal are the famous "seeing eye" dogs that assist blind people. The ADA says that with limited exceptions, ADA Service Animals can accompany their owners anywhere their owners can go: restaurants, theaters, shops, airplanes, and so on. ADA Service Animals are usually not pets; they are provided by an agency, and when they get too old to work anymore, the agency takes them back and provides them with a happy and comfortable retirement. So that's the first category.

The second category goes by a few names, such as "emotional support animals," "therapy animals," or confusingly "service animals." These animals are almost always pets. They begin their relationship with their owners as pets, and later get "certified" by the owner as being a support animal of some kind. They are only recognized legally in two settings, airplanes and apartments. This means that if you have a letter from a doctor saying the animal is a necessary emotional support animal, then airlines have to let them fly free, and landlords have to let them stay in apartments.

As you might imagine, there is plenty of confusion about the two categories. Since the first category, ADA Service Animal, comes with significantly more privileges, many people with pets in the second category take advantage of the confusion to get their pets into places where pets normally aren't allowed.

Some "emotional support animals" are legit, but most aren't. You can go to several sites online and for about $100, after filling out a questionnaire, you can get a letter declaring your pet to be an "emotional support animal." For extra cash, you can buy things like vests, uniforms, ID cards, and so on, all of which help to make the pet look like an ADA Service Animal to people who don't know the difference.

The airlines would normally charge a fee to have an animal placed in a kennel for a flight. But with the "emotional support animal" designation, the airlines are required to waive the fee and let the animal into the cabin with the passenger. Which is how we end up with the turkey sitting in a passenger seat in the photo I linked to above. Quite a number of people know about this, and get their pets to be declared "therapy animals" on the flimsiest of circumstances so that they can ride in the cabin with them -- for free.

[Jeroen Hoppenbrouwers]

"Pfff. In the 16th century we got to travel First Class."

[ScudRunner]

My thoughts exactly ;-)
And if it eats a rat from the first-class galley, and then takes off...
New ZFW = Old ZFW - rat?

but of course the 747 carries no RAT, so that is a trick question . Boom Boom.

[farrokh747]

one more....

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2018/01/30/woman-denied-emotional-support-peacock-on-united-flight.html

[Jeroen Hoppenbrouwers]

"What do you mean, Captain Peacock will not be able to serve me today?"

[Will]

I'm glad to see a limit being set, finally, by the airlines on this.

And for what it's worth, I wonder if the whole peacock thing was a stunt. The story says the airline told them on three occasions, prior to the day of the flight, that the bird wasn't coming on board. That makes me think the whole issue wasn't genuine.

[Mark]

"A large cock-[not]-up has occurred"

[farrokh747]

it's all laid down....

https://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/text-idx?SID=6faa4a824951c7825351933273bb43b0&mc=true&node=se14.4.382_1117&rgn=div8

You are never required to accommodate certain unusual service animals (e.g., snakes, other reptiles, ferrets, rodents, and spiders) as service animals in the cabin.

spiders....!? 

fc